Sea of Memories
by strawbunnie
Summary: Based on a picture by @rukitori on twitter, how will Riko and You adapt to a significant change in their life? (this is my first fanfic ever so sorry for flaws)


2 months.

That's how long it's been since she passed.

My name is Sakurauchi Riko, a former member in the group Aqours, before we disbanded due to… Well… Our leader passing.

I live two lives now, one living as Riko, and the other living as Chika.

Chika, who was best friends with You and I, died two months ago. What was once the happiness we shared with the ocean and was the image of our group now haunted us. We could never look again at that vast blue sea without thinking of the fate of our sunshine friend, who brought us all together. There, 2 months ago, Chika drowned when she went out to swim alone in the early hours of the morning.

We never found out exactly why she went out, and we never will, but we know in our hearts how hardworking and stubborn Chika was. She died the day before we would have performed at our first Love Live!. She went out with us daily to go swimming in the ocean to improve our strength and breathing for the Live, but it wasn't enough for her. You and I told her not to go alone, but her kindness and compassion stopped her from inviting us this time around, knowing how tired and worn out we were.

That hardworking nature and stubbornness would be what led her to her fate.

After her death, Mari ended up moving out again, and Kanan left school again. Dia went back to being Student Council President with a more rigorous routine than ever. We don't see the first years around much, but when we do we only exchange a simple nod. You and I have remained close and have become much closer after her passing.

Her death had all of us shaken up, but it hit You the hardest.

You and I were together when we found out she died. The police were all at the shore as we helplessly watched our friend be recovered from the water and lifted into an ambulance. I looked over and You let out a terrible, heart wrenching scream. Tears were streaming down You's face and I held her as she started muttering rapidly about all her regrets and wishing she had told Chika sooner how much she loved her. She muttered on about how this can't be real and how Chika must be alive and how she can't live if Chika wasn't here.

…

It was about two weeks since Chika's passing and I hadn't heard from You. She didn't come to school and when I tried calling her she never answered. I was outside on the balcony when I heard, from across my house, a phone ringing from Chika's room. The ringtone sounded like the tone Chika set for when You calls. I listened intently and the phone went to voice message. I could listen to You saying, "Chika, it's me, Yousoro! I miss you so much. I can't wait to hang out with you!" and then the sound of a phone hanging up. The tone of her voice was her usual cheery self, but tinted with a deranged, desperate façade of hopefulness.

I realized right then and there what I have to do.

I held the scissors up to my bangs and started trimming away. After I was done with that, I stared at my long dark locks and hesitantly started to cut them shorter. It can grow back, it's just hair, I thought.

If I ever grow it back.

I tied my hair into 3 braids, accompanied with a bright yellow bow. On the other side, I attached a clover pin. I headed out and went straight to You's house. I knocked on the door, and when she answered, she was taken aback at first. "Riko-chan, your hair, you cut it! Why would you do this?" She reached to touch my hair, feeling the now significantly shorter locks. I started to talk in my normal voice, but changed it to Chika's higher, cheery voice. "You-chan, I know you miss Chika a lot, so here I am!" I told her. You's dark expression and tension that lasted these couple weeks now clouded over into happiness. You hugged me tight and said, "Chika-chan, I missed you so much, I have to tell you so many things!" For the rest of the day I spent time with You, talking to her and what we've been doing for the past two weeks. As the hours went by, You went from being hesitant to becoming more happy and believing Chika was still here. At the end of the day I had her fully convinced I was Chika. I felt a sense of relief, looking at her happy face like that. From now on, I didn't want her to ever experience the pain of the reality that I have to feel. We lost our best friend, You especially losing someone she was best friends with since childhood. With that fact, I realized I have to take on Chika's role for You, so I can preserve her innocence and happiness. Perhaps seeing You happy, and playing the role of the girl we loved so dearly, would also make me happy. However it will never be able to erase the harsh reality in my mind like it could for You. This is why I have to do this for You, so at least one of us will be truly happy and forget the painful memory of our best friend.

At the end of the day, we went out to walk by the beach and admire the sunset like we did with Chika so many times before. It was painful for me to stroll by where she passed but for You's sake I kept on with my happy Chika character. We stood there in silence for a while, watching the once peaceful cascade of the waves, the water gently hitting the shore and hitting me with a twinge of sorrow. You turned to me with a slightly serious face. "Chika-chan, I've been meaning to tell you this for a long time," she said. "I want to tell you before it's too late, so I don't look back and regret not saying it sooner." I listened on. Blush crept up her cheeks, and unlike her usual loud, confident voice, she gently said, "I love you, Chika-chan." I smiled, a smile for Chika just like how she would if she found out You loved her. My real self, my Riko self would feel a bit jealous to find out You also loved Chika, however I repressed that feeling so I can love You back as Chika. "I love you," I said, holding her hands. We overlook the sun descending down past the sparkling water, feeling tranquility in that snapshot moment of our lives.

…

It's been two months now, and things have gotten better, at least for You. I still hold the memory of that painful day for the sake of You's happiness. She's back at school, and our classmates were shocked at first when they saw my change of hairstyle. I've grown accustomed to pretending to be Chika now, although my despair and grief grows more as time passes. I find myself asking daily, "How would Chika act?" and "What would Chika say?", remembering the days we spent with our loving, caring ball of sunshine makes me feel nostalgic and sad. I am reminded daily of the time we spent with the rest of Aqours, the fun and precious memories I hold deep within my heart which slowly eat me alive. I don't know if I'll ever feel as happy as I was in Aqours again, the only time I feel as happy is when I pretend to be Chika. Chika was the embodiment of joy and without her, Aqours was bound to disband. You is the glimmer of hope and facet that always reminds me of Chika and makes me feel not so alone, so I want to protect this cheerfulness You has. As I stare out the window, pondering all this, You comes up to me and hugs me from behind. I laugh and listen to her bubbly voice say "I love you, Chika-Chan!" It's been many times since she's told me this now, in different forms: "I love you so much", "Luv ya!", "Love you", and many more. Every single time she tells me, my heart aches with guilt, those words which I wish I could have said to the real Chika before she passed, and wishing I could tell You I love her back as Riko.

"Yeah, I love you too, You-chan."

…

I love you so much.


End file.
